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legains:

If you could go anywhere in the world right now would it be to a “where” or to a “who”?

I was not prepared for this question

macpye:

notluvulongtime:


One of the great birthday presents just arrived from Vienna and the incomparable AgentJ aka @ChaosNDisaster #MineralsAreGoodForYou {x}

The nerd in this one is strong

That rocks.

macpye:

notluvulongtime:

One of the great birthday presents just arrived from Vienna and the incomparable AgentJ aka @ChaosNDisaster #MineralsAreGoodForYou {x}

The nerd in this one is strong

That rocks.

heyangelface:

sherlockandmoriar-tea:

I’m just waiting for a Supernatural episode where God shows up like

image

I just pictured Chuck doing this and his first line back is, “I JUST WENT OUT FOR TOILET PAPER!”

-loner:




"I just need a person" or "I just used a person"

I feel like the original way you read it says something about you.


Completely agree with the comment above.

-loner:


"I just need a person" or "I just used a person"

I feel like the original way you read it says something about you.

Completely agree with the comment above.

Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)
  • Dad:

    Why the hell did you put a comma there?

  • Dad:

    Do you even know what a participial phrase is?

  • Dad:

    Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.

  • Dad:

    Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?

  • Dad:

    Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.

  • Dad:

    Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.

  • Dad:

    I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.

  • Dad:

    Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.

  • Dad:

    Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.

  • Dad:

    Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.

  • Dad:

    It's like you didn't read the fucking book.

  • Dad:

    Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.

  • Dad:

    *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*

  • Dad:

    My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.

  • Dad:

    Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...

  • Dad:

    Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.

  • Dad:

    I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.

  • Dad:

    Fuck the government.

  • Dad:

    Fuck the school board.

  • Dad:

    Close the door.

  • Dad:

    Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.

  • Dad:

    I love puns.

  • Dad:

    People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.

  • Dad:

    Please shut up.

  • Dad:

    Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.

  • Dad:

    I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.

  • Dad:

    I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.

  • Dad:

    You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.

  • Dad:

    Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.

  • Dad:

    I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.

  • Dad:

    If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.

  • Dad:

    They act like I care what they think.

  • Dad:

    I hate homework.

  • Dad:

    I have decided to become a politician.

  • Dad:

    What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.

meladoodle:

prosecutorblackquill:

what if u woke up and ur fav fictional character was snuggled next to u and they were like “good morning”

nemo.. you cant be here.. your dad will be worried sick

swannsavior:

Whoever runs the Taco Bell twitter is pretty cool.

wilotree:

this goes so well with “tempest - Deftones”

wilotree:

this goes so well with “tempest - Deftones”

teachingliteracy:

reading space.

teachingliteracy:

reading space.

shitshilarious:

iliveinmattsmithspants:

territorialcreep:

itseasytoremember:

whythefuckareyouromeo:


0ver-doze:

omg they are so offended if you lick them back. 

Fun fact! Dogs lick the mouths of those they consider higher in rank! So if you lick them back, they are not offended, they just don’t see themselves as higher than you and they are confused! The second dog must be a very loyal dog because he or she literally refuses to be licked back haha! I love dogs.

i started reading that expecting an angry rant and it turned out to be one of the nicest things ever.

I have reblogged this like ten times

My cat grooms me. What does that mean?

It means your cat thinks your style is wack and is trying to help

shitshilarious:

iliveinmattsmithspants:

territorialcreep:

itseasytoremember:

whythefuckareyouromeo:


0ver-doze
:

image

omg they are so offended if you lick them back. 

Fun fact! Dogs lick the mouths of those they consider higher in rank! So if you lick them back, they are not offended, they just don’t see themselves as higher than you and they are confused! The second dog must be a very loyal dog because he or she literally refuses to be licked back haha! I love dogs.

i started reading that expecting an angry rant and it turned out to be one of the nicest things ever.

I have reblogged this like ten times

My cat grooms me. What does that mean?

It means your cat thinks your style is wack and is trying to help